A Lawyer Thanks the Artists
Some believe that randomness is responsible for most of what happens in our lives. I disagree. I prefer to think that what happens is because of the artistry of people and decisions that come together as we take our journeys. So this is a thank you to the artists that helped shape this lawyer\’s journey. Thank you family for providing me with the genes and the prayers to fly me thus far. No words can describe the gratitude felt for your love. Stephanie. Wiley. Doreen. Ned. Lily. Thank you friends, mentors, and sponsors, for spending your precious time, knowledge – everything from web design to librettos to Grantor Retained Annuity Trusts, and energy with me and helping me stand up after a fall. Thank you teachers, professors, senior counsel, and judges, whose assignments, lectures, insights, bench slaps and bench warmers, instilled the needed sense, returned me to the pesky perfectionist, and elevated my paranoia to ensure that I do what is right and necessary to escape the clutches of the ARDC. May you never see me on that infamous Illinois State Bar Journal listing, or any other infamous listing for that matter! Thank you CLIENTS for allowing me to serve you and your families. I can think of no greater honor outside of being an actual family member. Sorry about all the birthday cards; I get a little carried away. Thank you colleagues and professional associates who trust me with your referrals. May I continue to earn your trust in spades. Thank you State of Illinois for ending discrimination against loving, committed relationships. Took you long enough! Thank you Zuckerberg because when I am deep in the trenches at work, I can take a few fun moments to catch up with photos and posts from family and friends around the world and visit with new babies, grandparents, my s/heroes, and marathoners for their causes, all of which make returning to the trenches, that more meaningful. Thank you community organizations, specifically Affinity Community Services, Chicago Women’s Health Center, St. Vincent de Paul Center, and IntraSpectrum Counseling for taking me into your families to share the gifts bestowed upon us lawyers, especially that of information about how the law works. Thank you Board, Stephen Hoffman, Allison Branen, Abiola Kalejaiye, Edward B. Llewellyn-Thomas, and Valerie Drame for sharing your diverse and expert insights to help me stay focused. I will try to reduce the wonky Saturday morning texts and 1500 word emails. Thank you interns and clerks who have rocked out your assignments in some of the frenziest periods of the office to help guide us into calm sailing. Finally, since surely I will never be called upon the Academy of Motion Pictures, Arts and Sciences, thank you, whoever you are, for creating the candied sweet potatoes recipe. Happy Thanksgivukkah to all!
5 Mentoring Tips from the Grave
As a wills and trusts attorney, frequently, clients or friends ask me how they or their parents can prevent young, adult beneficiaries from wasting their “hard-earned” inheritance. I explain that this can be managed in at least 5 ways: Use hard cold facts and an iron club. Tell them that the money was hard-earned by you and don’t leave them anything but a videotape of the family history. Leave all the money and possessions to charity. Bribe the youngsters and hope for the best. Of course, these are 2 actions that make most lawyers’ skin crawl. Educate the little people from the time they get their first piggy bank from Grandpa. Use conditional provisions that don’t “offend public policy.” This means that, while you can’t disinherit your child from marrying outside his ethnicity and can’t tell him he won’t get a dime unless he divorces his current spouse, you can cut the cord if he becomes a lifetime criminal. You can shorten the cord if she becomes a lifetime substance abuser. And you can make the cord’s length dependent on grades and gainful employment. “Staggered mentoring,” which I’ve mentioned before, is another tool. With a “staggered mentoring” provision, Grandpa leaves Hermoine 30% of her pot of gold when she turns 25, another 30% when she turns 30, and the balance at the age of 35. My favorite is a combination of 3 through 5, but as my favorite contracts professor said, “If it walks like a duck and squawks like a duck, it ain’t a beagle.” So, if Hermoine’s been in and out of jail since the age of 16 and she’s 25 now, education, at least of the financial planning kind, isn’t probably going to work.
Shark Free Zone Swimmers
Clients, colleagues, mentors, friends, family, groups, organizations, professors, and supporters far and wide, each contributing to a list that overlaps and abounds like interlocking rings and atom particles, and ripples out like concentric circles in a larger than life lake: The Law Offices of Max Elliott, Ltd. THANKS YOU.
A Seasonal Digression: Let\’s Not Forget the Judge
A funny thing happened to me on the way to the office. To put this note in proper context, you should know that I typically take a bus to work, a bus that spans the various socio-economic demographic areas of Chicago. I also usually carry an American Bar Association tote because it’s lined and wide – good for lunch, heels, and files. … On this day, I sat in a seat facing other passengers, one of which had boarded shortly after I did. He was obese, somewhat cognitively challenged but not as much as one might think. But the only way to know that was to either talk with him or associate with such people on a long-term basis. My mother told me to always “be nice” to strangers who speak to you, and I have had occasions to associate with vulnerable individuals people for years at a time. So … This large, huffing, puffing, scraggly-looking, strange-noise-making, gentleman finally puffed out rather loudly, but pointing softly at me, “Excuse me?!” “Yes?” “Your bag…It says (huff) ABA… Do you know (huff)…are you with…do you work for the ABA?” “No. I’m a lawyer.” “Oh. (Huff) Really?! So did you hear about that case in California where the guy beat up his girlfriend she hired an attorney, and he beat up the attorney, too, and then the judge let the guy go?!” “No, I didn’t hear about that…” “(Huff). Oh. Okay. Well, does the ABA recommend judges?” “Yes. The American Bar, Illinois Bar, and Illinois State Bar Associations rank judges as qualified or unqualified.” “Do you know where they keep the list? Where I can get a copy?” “You can phone the associations or go online. Also, I know the Chicago Sun-Times and Tribune typically publish the list before election day.” “Ok. Since Chicago lets your vote early will the list be out now?” “It should, but that’s a good question, which I don’t have the answer to.” “Ok. Thanks. I usually vote but skip the judges, which is wrong. Thank you.” “You’re welcome.” No, I didn’t forget to include the huffing. The gentleman actually calmed down as I looked squarely into his eyes and shared a meaningful conversation. Eventually, he moved to a seat in the very back corner of the bus and started making sounds again. A woman setting a few seats away from him moved even further away. This is not a statement of judgment – I don’t know her story either. Other folks also occasionally turned around to see who was making the noise. A few minutes later, it was my stop. As I got up to wait at the back door, I looked at the gentleman, thanked him for asking me about the voting process and also for asking good questions. We then wished each other a good day. Was he delusional? I don’t know. I’m a lawyer, not a psychotherapist. However, I do know that our conversation was one of the best I’ve had during this election season.
Free Anti-Human Trafficking Program Tuesday, Jan. 10
JOIN the American Bar Association International Human Rights Committee in Chicago live or via teleconference, on January 10, 2012, 10 a.m. – noon CT, as we present “Sex Trafficking from the Boardroom to the Classroom: Prevention, Intervention & Prosecution” This third program in our human trafficking series focuses on sex trafficking. The program will provide a comprehensive depiction of the issue by highlighting the transnational criminal framework that fuels sex-trafficking; innovative prevention and intervention efforts to end sex-trafficking; and the human rights gender issues that lie at the core of the continued proliferation of sex-trafficking worldwide. REGISTER for the program TODAY with the ABA