3 Reasons for Essential Family Talks and How to Manage Them, Despite Science-Fiction and Poker
Lawyers are no different from other groups when it comes to disagreeing with each other and, in fact, are probably worse. So while attending a recent seminar on trusts and estate planning, I was pleasantly surprised when my colleagues and I all agreed on one thing: People don’t like having the conversations needed for drafting adequate trusts and planning for the future, especially Baby Boomers and young couples. For example, a friend once told me that he and his wife hadn’t revisited the issue of guardianship for 13 years because it created such a stir the first time. Understandable. What man wants to tell his wife that instead of his mother-in-law, he’d rather have the kids raised by Darth Vader? Disclaimer: My friend did not say that about his wife’s mother. Baby Boomers don’t like talking about this issue because we cannot fathom that the world will continue to exist without us. Similarly, young couples, especially young parents, tend to believe that they are the world. Why not? Still, conversations about retirement and the Golden Years are essential and should be had a lot sooner than the appearance of the first strand of grey. How can we lawyers help if the conversations are sidestepped? Well, we try to provide compelling reasons for having these important chats, such as the following: If you’re a couple in your 20s or 30s the world is at your feet and you should do what you can to protect your world. Have you thought about your values and who in your families, outside of your partner, most accurately reflects those values? When you take vacations without the children and/or pets are you comfortable that your values are supported or do the children need reeling back in when returning from 3 weeks with Grandma? Perhaps you should gently suggest that Uncle Bob or Aunt Carol help Grandma out a few evenings. However, if Grandma rebukes the suggestion by playing the “grandparent trump card”: “I’m a grandparent and can do what I want for my grandchildren,” tell Uncle Bob or somebody to be at Grandma’s a few times a week. When Grandma huffs, blame it on a lawyer. Leaving the healthcare debate for another time, if you’re a Baby Boomer, you probably know that medical wonders abound to provide you or your parents with the physiological retirement deserved. Have you found a way to ensure that when their knees need replacing, Mom or Dad will be able to recuperate in the manner to which they’ve become accustomed without sacrificing your lifestyle or their independence? If, when approaching the subject, they start moaning about you deserting them and them living out their final moments with cold mashed potatoes and a checkerboard, suggest interviewing in-home, part-time caregivers and a cruise that gives AARP members discounts. If that doesn’t work, blame the cold potatoes on a lawyer. If you are a small business owner, your business may be your most valuable asset. When you are ready to release the reigns, at least a little bit, are you and your family comfortable with your individual successor or the successor management? Maybe one family member knows the business inside out and the other family member has no clue but 2 people are needed to run it. Update your business plan and bring the other family member in on management selection of neutral parties. If he or she doesn’t want to be involved from that perspective, blame the million-dollar IPO that the family member got locked out of on an accountant.
Why There\’s a \”Trust\” in Trustee, Part 2
In Part 1 of this series, I discussed why one should be careful in selecting a trustee. Family members are often considered the most trustworthy with respect to family matters, so people typically select them as trustees. However, this endearing gesture can cause serious problems later: Trust assets could be inadvertently wiped out. A trustee is usually responsible for managing the trust assets. If the trust is significant, the trustee should either have the required financial investment background or the ability to wisely choose someone with the needed background to act as the trust investment advisor. If the trustee is not well informed about investment matters relevant to the trust assets and does not employ someone who is, then the trust funds could dissipate leaving the terms of the trust unfulfilled, and probably one or more displeased beneficiaries. This last point is particularly important if the trust isn’t large, but the beneficiaries depend on its income for health and educational support, for example. Valid claims could go unanswered; or a trust claim could be ignored. The trustee is responsible for responding to or initiating litigation on behalf of the trust. So if a long lost family member who would have been provided for had their whereabouts been known, emerges claiming they should receive under the trust, the trustee should properly address that claim. If the trustee is a family member, however, the problem becomes one of bias against that claim because a valid claim could dilute the current beneficiaries’ shares, possibly including the trustee’s share. Another problem is that it takes time to respond to these claims, time that a family member may not have. Equally important is a trust may have a claim that needs to be litigated. But, if the trustee does not recognize the claim issue, a potential financial award for the beneficiaries may go unnoticed. Co-trustees don’t always agree. While the grantor may have gotten along well with both individuals, when it comes time to make a distribution decision or another decision involving the trust, the co-trustees may not see eye-to-eye and both could have valid perspectives. This type of disagreement starts many long-term family arguments resulting in costly court battles. If nothing else, by choosing a corporate fiduciary, the family will be at peace with each other and at war with someone else. Trust administration responsibilities are time consuming and numerous. The following is an incomplete list of trustee duties: Distributing beneficiary shares Providing a regular accounting to beneficiaries Paying debts, taxes, fees and expenses associated with the trust administration Giving notice to guardians or legal representatives of beneficiaries who are minors or incapacitated Executing documents required for trust administration Settling claims against the trust, not just from possible beneficiaries but from estate creditors Buying insurance for trust assets Perhaps now you’re thinking that a Last Will and Testament may circumvent this “trustee” matter, but that\’s not necessarily true. A Will’s executor or “personal representative” often has the same responsibilities as a trustee. So, establishing a Will not only requires delegation to the executor some of the responsibilities above, but in Illinois, it also entails more costs and more time because of probate. Therefore, it is critical to resist the urge to select a family member as a trustee – or executor – without first giving the decision the thought and discussion it deserves.