5 Key Blocks for the Build-A-Baby Life Stage
Helping new families through my practice is one of the great benefits of my job. It soothes my soul because I know the family will be protected sooner rather than later and we will all sleep better, though the infants rarely have a tough time sleeping soundly. However, becoming a new parent isn’t always easy. The gamete meeting sometimes just doesn’t take place as soon as we want it to; sometimes our gametes just don’t want to meet at all. On these occasions, Artificial Reproductive Technology (ART) can play a very important role. However, ART can be costly, financially and emotionally. I was on a panel with Lambda Legal a few months ago and an audience member referred to the financial program designed by his company to help parents with this issue as the “Build-A-Baby” program. This particular department helped couples design their financial planning so they could afford ART, which can cost thousands of dollars per month and when you factor in particular types of adoptions, the final costs can be hundreds of thousands of dollars. And, as mentioned, that’s just the financial burden. The emotional burden of waiting and hoping is equally heavy, if not heavier. As opposed to ART, either parent or both parents can take an alternative route and adopt. Still, just as with ART and as above sometimes including ART, adoption can be costly and is always emotionally burdensome. Consequently, it is critical that parents understand how they can protect each other and their families at the very beginning, even, sometimes, before the birth occurs. Another panel I was on recently described it as “Building Your Family Fortress.” The following are the cornerstones for today\’s family, whether you use ART, adopt, or your gametes meet the old-fashioned way: Obtain life insurance that will at least replace the primary wage-earner’s salary for 3-5 years. Have powers of attorney – healthcare and property (what some states refer to as including “advanced directives”) prepared for both parents. Free drafts of Illinois powers of attorney are available here. If you’re a same-sex couple, be sure if one of you is the biological parent, then the other adopts the child. The U.S. is still a patchwork of states, some recognizing your legal rights in a Civil Union or same-sex marriage, and others not. The same applies for straight couples who are not married and one parent is the biological parent. If you’re using ART with an unknown donor, the parent carrying the child should designate the other parent as a short-term guardian to go into effect at some point in time until the adoption is complete. Obtain valid wills, irrespective of the gender-orientation of your relationship because you need to ensure that the guardian of your child is who you want the guardian to be in the case of your death. For straight couples, it is critical that you name a successor guardian. Other blocks can also be used, but these 5 bricks represent the cornerstones of a solid fortress that will protect your family now and in the future.
2 Lessons from a Single Mom Held Hostage
One of the most important steps a single parent can take to protect his or her child is to plan for the unexpected. I don’t point it out often, but the fact is that one of the primary services offered by the Law Offices of Max Elliott is helping people plan for the day they die. Nobody likes to think about this, let alone talk about it, especially parents – moms and dads. Given that challenge, consider the following true story (with identifying characteristics changed): Molly and Sheldon had been dating for a couple of years but weren’t ready to get married. Sheldon was a struggling actor and Molly was fresh out of college. However, circumstance resulted in Molly having Sheldon’s little girl, Amy. Sheldon and Molly decided against marriage or entering into a Civil Union but both loved Amy dearly. One day while returning from work, Molly was killed in a car crash. Fortunately, she had life insurance. BUT… 1. She listed Amy as the primary beneficiary with no further instruction. 2. She listed Sheldon as the contingent beneficiary with no further instruction. 3. She didn’t tell her only other remaining “next of kin” about her “final wishes.” So… Molly’s body was sent to a funeral home selected by her only remaining next of kin, who could not afford to pay for the funeral services but, when meeting with the funeral home director and Sheldon, mentioned the life insurance policy. The funeral home agreed to perform the services that week only if they could be guaranteed payment through the insurance proceeds. For this to occur to the satisfaction of the funeral home, Sheldon, who was on Amy’s birth certificate, would still have to go to court and agree to open an estate for Amy and a lawyer, referred to Sheldon by the funeral home, would have to be named trustee. The bottom line: If Sheldon didn’t want to take the funeral home up on its offer, during one of the most challenging times of a person’s life, I might add, he had to find the money elsewhere within 24 hours. Taking the funeral home’s offer meant: Retaining an attorney that neither he nor Molly knew to represent their little girl. Designating an attorney neither he nor Molly knew to be trustee for their little girl’s sizable estate at least temporarily; and here’s the other burn… Paying thousands of dollars of little Amy’s money to an attorney and a funeral home in order to hold Molly’s services within a reasonable time. This is a grim, real life story but I implore you to take and pay forward the critical lessons: DO NOT designate minors as primary beneficiaries of life insurance policies, retirement accounts, and the like. DO communicate to your loved ones your final wishes, so you and your loved ones won’t be held hostage.
5 Tips for Parents Young, Old, or Otherwise
One thing I love about my practice is serving new parents who GET IT. They understand how critical it is to ensure their children are provided for if something happens to one or both of them. They realize that children are vulnerable and depend on Mom & Dad, Mom & Mom, Dad & Dad, Mom, Dad, or Nana to keep them safe, healthy, sheltered, and learned. New parents know that just because they don’t have a lot of material wealth doesn’t mean that they can’t protect their young ones somehow. So hats off to all you parents out there who GET IT. For those of you who are contemplating parenthood, or who just started the voyage of sleepless nights and stinky diapers, or just witnessed the most glorious sparkle that can only be found in your child’s eye when he or she “DID IT!” whatever “IT!” was, I offer 5 tips, particularly from the Land of Lincoln: If you have minor child you need a will. Someone is going to have to step into your shoes and take care of your child if you and/or your spouse or partner dies. With a will, you can designate a person who will be recognized by the State of Illinois as a legal guardian, as long as they meet the criteria. Illinois has 2 types of guardianship because the state recognizes that caring for children requires more than one skill set (validating what mothers have been trying to point out for decades). A guardian of the person makes the value-driven decisions that affect the child, e.g., education, healthcare, and shelter. A guardian of the estate makes the financial decisions for the child and is critical when a minor inherits a rather large sum of money, such as life insurance. Speaking of life insurance, let’s separate fact from fiction. The notion that life insurance isn’t taxed isn’t accurate. Life insurance isn’t typically taxed as income. BUT life insurance is included within your estate for estate tax purposes. So make sure you have good counsel when staring at the twinkle in the broker’s eye as you think about buying that million-dollar policy. Also, while we’re on the topic of life, you don’t have to die to begin protecting your family. I wrote about this in an earlier piece and I speak about it often. Powers of attorney allow individuals you trust to step into your shoes and manage your financial affairs and make healthcare decisions for you when you are temporarily unable to. These powers are typically shared between spouses and understood to be held by each spouse in a reciprocal manner, but what if you are Civil Union partners or a single parent? What if your spouse is on sabbatical at Machu Picchu? Special needs requires special considerations. If you have a child who is disabled or requires special assistance, you must take care to ensure that the income you provide via your will or trust doesn’t result in your child becoming ineligible for needed government benefits. So, again, seek prudent and experienced counsel. As I said earlier, I adore new parents who GET IT. However, whether you’re a new parent, old parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, or you just love kids, be sure the ones you care about are protected. For LSSG
Saving Parents\’ Precious Resources
Occasionally, I’m stunned by how little current clients\’ or customers\’ needs are considered by service providers. As an estate planning attorney for “non-traditional families,” one of my key concerns for my clients is providing them with services that are not only excellent, but also efficient. Nontraditional families include women who are heads of households with children and, as the primary wage earner, they have 3 issues to continually manage: Financial resources Time Parenting While The Law Offices of Max Elliott may not be able to assist in quality parenting, we do provide services and use tools that bring efficiency to the first 2 issues. In plain English, we help our clients by saving them money and time. Estate planning, as is said so often now, is not just for the very wealthy. So our services allow you to determine the scope of estate planning protection that fits within your financial framework. Are you a median wage earner who rents with a teenager living at home but working his or her way through college? If so, then an estate plan that encompasses education planning and a Qualified Personal Residence Trust, or “QPRT,” may be unnecessary AND we won’t turn you away. We will simply recognize that more than likely, to protect your family and yourself, you will and should want to start with simpler vehicles, which is what you can obtain for probably less than 1-2 months’ rent. BUT… “It’s not money, but time,” you say. Well let’s look at Joan: Joan is an HR executive at a Fortune 500 company and earns more than the median. Plus, she’s up by 5 AM to workout, get the kids off to school and daycare, is working her smartphone by 7:30 at the office by train by 9ish, eats lunch at her desk, is on the 5:15 and cooking or ordering in by 6:30 but answers her email until 10:00 PM. Weekends are for catching up on the latest SHRM reports she missed while taking the train during the week. Joan came up along the ranks in HR, so it would be unwise for us to waste her time talking about 401(k) planning and HSAs. She’s a tech wizard who lives in the ‘burbs and works downtown, so I’d also never think to ask her to commit to only in-person meetings when a teleconference or an exchange on our secure client directory will suffice. Speaking of that directory, if you are the mom, renting, and with the teenager or a parent with kids and no time like Joan, or someone who just wants to save time and money, our secure online portal that is available for clients makes it easy to engage in substantive, secure conversations, exchange documents, and pay fees all in one place. It’s not an open e-mail or even e-mail on our website. It’s a secure, designed specifically for lawyers and used strictly by us and our clients. So, in concluding this shameless “use our service” self-promotional piece, I’ll just say that whoever you choose as your legal services team, make sure that your precious resources are considered and used wisely.
Team Estrogen Needs to Plan Now for Now … and Then
For my male readers, I’m shouting one out for the estrogen team, today. You\’re more than welcomed to stay and share this post with the hub of your life, but I’ll return to the neutral zone with the next post. Recently, I shared a number of articles via Twitter and LinkedIn about the supposed trepidation women have when it comes to estate planning, particularly managing their financial affairs. As a female lawyer in a practice area traditionally held by men, I must admit those articles ruffled my feathers. I contend that women are not afraid of talking about money or estate planning matters, we often just don’t think we have the time. The role of the female is still that of the family hub– mother, daughter, spouse, partner, sister. Being the family hub requires a great deal of time and effort. Add to that our occupational responsibilities and community obligations and it’s perfectly understandable why we focus on the “now” and not the “then.” Yes, we are fully aware of the fact that if we take some time now, we could make “then” better. However, as a single parent when: a presentation to a major client is due on Monday, the kids have to be taken to gymnastics and birthday parties and Sunday school, Mom needs help with her new ottoman, Sis wants a review of the web site of your annual “sisterhood vacation” hotel, as chair of the silent auction committee you have to complete the donations list by Friday night, and you still have to exercise, cook, and pick up the cleaning (housekeeper not in the budget), “converting my 401(k) into …” doesn’t really make it to the top of the list. Next, is the fact that we know we’re the hub and the emotional gravity accompanying that realization. I don’t know too many women who readily give thought to when they won’t be around to see their grandchildren, nieces’ weddings, or best friend’s daughter’s college graduation. It is a very painful and counterintuitive thought for women. Fear has little to do with it. We simply love our families and friends and cannot fathom not being there for them. Nevertheless, Ladies, as painful, counterintuitive, and time consuming as it may be, we owe it to our families and ourselves to sacrifice a manicure, to miss a committee meeting, to reschedule a conference call, to say a prayer and let Sis choose the hotel, so we can take care of “now” and “then” now. The list of reasons for doing this is not exhaustive and are compelling: Your retirement savings may be dwindling unnecessarily; Your widowed father living a few states away may have a new BFF with less than charitable thoughts about Dad’s annuity; An in-state college may not afford your son the best educational opportunity for his mechanical engineering career; You might be able to withdraw income now from grandma’s IRA (progressive grandma!); Your current income may be beneficial for a retirement vehicle that may not be as readily available when your income rises past a certain point; You may want to go on sabbatical but, who’s going to mind the store, literally; Instead of a place where Mom will be bored silly playing checkers, you may want to send her cruising 6 months a year; and You want your partner to be able to visit you immediately after major surgery. Minding our retirement and estate matters now actually makes us, the family hub, stronger. If you want, I’ll take notes at your next committee meeting, so you can meet with a reputable CFP.
Thanks But No Thanks: The Benefits of Disclaiming Aunt Val\’s Gift
Occasionally, a person may receive a gift under a will or a trust that they think would be more appropriate for their descendants. In these situations – and if the trust is drafted appropriately – the person usually has a legal right to say, “Thanks, but no thanks,” to the gift. At that point, the gift then “passes” to the person’s descendant(s) or beneficiary(ies). This means that the law will consider that initial recipient dead, i.e., having “predeceased” the testator, with respect to that particular gift and, as a result, the proposed recipient’s descendants take the gift. Why would you disclaim a gift? You don’t need the gift but your descendants might. For example, if Grandpa passes away leaving his house to your father, but Dad has his own home and a retirement condo, Dad may decide that you – a young professional with student loans – may benefit from owning the home more than Dad. So, Dad says in a writing that appropriately describes the gift and is delivered to the appropriate party, “Thanks, but no thanks. I, Dad, am unequivocally and expressly refusing the house … bequeathed to me by my father …” Once Dad’s disclaimer is accepted, if you\’re the only child, then you get the house. If you have siblings, then, generally, you will need to determine with your siblings how best to divide the interest in the house. You can’t afford the responsibility. If you and your partner are urbane empty-nesters, perfectly content with your 2-bedroom city dwelling, do you want the 4-bedroom home in the suburbs that Aunt Val left you with all the maintenance and tax bills that come with it? Probably not. However, your adopted daughter who now has newborn twins and a 3-year-old could probably use the extra space. So you say in writing, “Thanks but no thanks” to Aunt Val’s lush suburban family home. You want to avoid creditors. If you refuse a gift, a creditor claim cannot attach to your interest in the gift because under the law you never had any interest in the gift once your disclaimer is accepted. However, the area of the law using disclaimers as a way to avoid creditors is rapidly closing this loophole, so creditor claim avoidance probably isn’t the most prudent use of this testamentary mechanism. Disclaimers, simple at first blush, are like most legal tools – devilish in the details. If you’re considering disclaiming a gift, below are a few points to discuss with your attorney: Whether or not the property will be completely yours if it is currently held in joint tenancy with you and 2 other tenants; The irrevocability of disclaiming; Your action to date regarding the interest in the property; and Tax implications, which should be considered sooner rather than later. In the world of wills, trusts, and estate planning, the intent of the testator is a cardinal rule. Yet, sometimes the intent of the testator and the needs of the heirs conflict. Using a disclaimer may help resolve that conflict.
Who Takes the Eggs? ART and Estate Planning Considerations
As technology’s digits crawl through the nooks and crannies of our physical world and cyberspace, the legal consequences and questions emerging keep even us non-IP lawyers quite busy. Considering assisted reproductive technology (\”ART\”), family law was the premier practice area for getting caught in ART\’s web. Few lawyers realized the effects ART would have on estate planning and, even as the effects became clear, only a fraction of states passed laws providing legal guidance. Fortunately, Illinois is a state that considered ART in its laws and included laws for in vitro fertilization in the Parentage Act. Additionally, the Probate Act states that children born after a parent’s death (“posthumous” children) are to be considered having been born during the parent’s lifetime. So, what does all this technolegalese mean? Well, in terms of inheritance and/or estate planning laws, it means conversations should be had between Illinois spouses if conception is a challenge or an impossibility for one or both spouses.* The conversations are necessary because of 2 vital estate planning tools often used by couples, Health Care Powers of Attorney (“HCPOA”) and Property Powers of Attorney (“PPOA”), which can also provide instruction for ART cases. Yes, lawyers love acronyms. In Illinois, a posthumous child born via ART typically emerges in 1 of 3 ways: Use of frozen sperm; Use of a frozen embryo; or Use of a frozen egg. Furthermore, obtaining frozen sperm or eggs may not only occur after incapacity but also may occur after death, which is when estate planning mechanisms are triggered. When creating an estate plan, couples usually consider a bunch of “what ifs,” e.g., “what if I become disabled while we’re still in the “prime” of our lives and haven’t had kids yet?” A HCPOA is a tool that requires making those decisions but, consequently, eases the fears associated with the “what ifs.” Accordingly, when considering ART, a HCPOA could, for example, authorize the implantation of frozen sperm or eggs. Of course, other considerations would naturally follow, such as, how one abled-parent and one disabled parent would raise a child. Still, ART combined with the law creates a reasonable and protected possibility for having a family, when that likelihood, outside of adoption, didn’t exist before. Another equally interesting issue relates to the PPOA. But, you say, “That’s about property.” Yes, it is. In a 1993 California decision, Hecht v. Superior Court, which is used by several states, the Court determined that frozen genetic reproductive material, such as sperm and eggs, is property for the purpose of leaving a gift in a will (aka “devise”). Here, you might think the conversation would be easy – women can leave their eggs to their partners; but, not so fast. What if the eggs are frozen, then the relationship is legally dissolved, the donor spouse remarries, and then passes away? Who gets the eggs if the second spouse doesn’t want any (more) kids? She could disclaim them and pass them to her descendants or siblings; that would be interesting. The future brothers and sisters of the former partner? Should the reproductive material be destroyed? Who do you think should get the eggs? * The term “spouses” and \”partners\” are interchanged in this context because the terms are synonymous in Illinois law.
3 Reasons for Essential Family Talks and How to Manage Them, Despite Science-Fiction and Poker
Lawyers are no different from other groups when it comes to disagreeing with each other and, in fact, are probably worse. So while attending a recent seminar on trusts and estate planning, I was pleasantly surprised when my colleagues and I all agreed on one thing: People don’t like having the conversations needed for drafting adequate trusts and planning for the future, especially Baby Boomers and young couples. For example, a friend once told me that he and his wife hadn’t revisited the issue of guardianship for 13 years because it created such a stir the first time. Understandable. What man wants to tell his wife that instead of his mother-in-law, he’d rather have the kids raised by Darth Vader? Disclaimer: My friend did not say that about his wife’s mother. Baby Boomers don’t like talking about this issue because we cannot fathom that the world will continue to exist without us. Similarly, young couples, especially young parents, tend to believe that they are the world. Why not? Still, conversations about retirement and the Golden Years are essential and should be had a lot sooner than the appearance of the first strand of grey. How can we lawyers help if the conversations are sidestepped? Well, we try to provide compelling reasons for having these important chats, such as the following: If you’re a couple in your 20s or 30s the world is at your feet and you should do what you can to protect your world. Have you thought about your values and who in your families, outside of your partner, most accurately reflects those values? When you take vacations without the children and/or pets are you comfortable that your values are supported or do the children need reeling back in when returning from 3 weeks with Grandma? Perhaps you should gently suggest that Uncle Bob or Aunt Carol help Grandma out a few evenings. However, if Grandma rebukes the suggestion by playing the “grandparent trump card”: “I’m a grandparent and can do what I want for my grandchildren,” tell Uncle Bob or somebody to be at Grandma’s a few times a week. When Grandma huffs, blame it on a lawyer. Leaving the healthcare debate for another time, if you’re a Baby Boomer, you probably know that medical wonders abound to provide you or your parents with the physiological retirement deserved. Have you found a way to ensure that when their knees need replacing, Mom or Dad will be able to recuperate in the manner to which they’ve become accustomed without sacrificing your lifestyle or their independence? If, when approaching the subject, they start moaning about you deserting them and them living out their final moments with cold mashed potatoes and a checkerboard, suggest interviewing in-home, part-time caregivers and a cruise that gives AARP members discounts. If that doesn’t work, blame the cold potatoes on a lawyer. If you are a small business owner, your business may be your most valuable asset. When you are ready to release the reigns, at least a little bit, are you and your family comfortable with your individual successor or the successor management? Maybe one family member knows the business inside out and the other family member has no clue but 2 people are needed to run it. Update your business plan and bring the other family member in on management selection of neutral parties. If he or she doesn’t want to be involved from that perspective, blame the million-dollar IPO that the family member got locked out of on an accountant.